Did you really just say that?

During a long and rather slow day at work this week I decided to catch up on some reading for class. Among other articles, I read Tatum's "The Development of White Identity" mostly because I was intrigued by the title. The article came from a different perspective than many I have read before, and it really got me thinking about my own life, the people I hang out with, and the daily interactions I have. Obviously, I do not consider myself racist and would say that I was raised in an environment where the main issue of race was that it should be a non-issue. As I sat there in the small confines of my job deep in thought about these issues, a customer approached interrupting my ruminations to order a double espresso. With the call back to reality and to actually do my work, thoughts of Tatum's article vanished from my consciousness and I continued with the tasks at hand.

Fast forward to a few hours later: I am off of work, attempting to relax, and meeting up with a some friends who were visiting in town and who I hadn't seen in a while. It was great to catch up, but as the night went on this friend continued to make one racist joke after another, leaving no ethnicity out. At first I just let it go, but after a while it simply became obnoxious. Here I was, just hours after reading an article that reflects on both overt and institutional racism and the way in which White people either perpetuate or try to stop it, and the reading had suddenly become my reality. I was shocked, as this friend of mine could have been one of those quoted in Tatum's reading. I did not really know what to do. Eventually, he could see that I was offended, and I even told him that his remarks were not disimilar to the racist remarks I was reading earlier in the day, but that did not seem to phase him. This was frustrating for me, and I guess is something I am still trying to work through and understand.

Are We Speaking the Same Language?

I really enjoyed Sera's visit to class the other day and was interested in what she had to say about the use of different languages in and out of the classroom. I think that it is a smart move to affirm and acknowledge other languages even if it is one you do not understand. Speaking from a standpoint of very limited experience, I think that one of the biggest aspects (and challenges) of teaching, or working with kids in general, is to establish a relationship of mutual respect and understanding. This can be done no matter what language a child is speaking - Spanish, Korean, Vietnamese, or even the various versions of English we all already admitted to using a couple of weeks ago. If language is a large part of one's identity then to embrace a student's language is a crucial part of making the student feel like he or she is being accepted and respected. There are plenty of techniques we use as tutors/teachers everyday to attempt to engage a student, and I think that embracing different languages is simply another way of doing this.

Gates

Gates talks about race being connected to history in the context of black slaves writing "out of slavery".  He speaks of the challenge of blacks in the 17th and 18th centuries to establish oneself as a human being capable of reason and enlightenment by way of writing.  I thought his point about the Enlightenment was interesting in that the while the Enlightenment "is characterized by its foundation on man's ability to reason, it simultaneously used the absence and presence of reason to delimit and circumscribe the very humanity of cultures and people of color" (Gates 593).  Previously, when thinking about the Enlightenment I thought about it as a time where culture, the arts and sciences, and innovative ideas flourished.  While this may be true, Gates brings up the point that the Enlightenment in a sense established a status quo of knowledge, reason, and mastery of the arts and sciences,  and if one did not fit that, then they were consequently not enlightened, and possibly less human.  This is a strange notion, to be so enlightened that you can decide who is human and who is not.

Another interesting point about Gates' essay was when he wrote that slaves were writing themselves out of slavery.  His line at the end "black writers wrote as if their lives depended upon it" seemed to me reminiscent of Mahiri's "Writing for their lives" (Gates 596).  It appears as though writing for survival has been almost a constant for some in the black community for hundreds of years, just in different contexts.  I am not really sure what to make of this insight. I just could not help but draw the parallels between the word choice of both men.  Something to consider I suppose. 

Writing for their lives vs. writing for the SATs

I found Mahiri and Sablo's article, "Writing For Their Lives: The Non-School Literacy of California's Urban African American Youth", interesting, insightful, and frankly, depressing all at the same time. I found the research that they did to be fairly comprehensive, and enjoyed the work of the students Keisha and Troy. The article speaks to the students tremendous ability to understand, organize, and creatively put on paper the main issues and achievements that surround the students' everyday life, but at the same time, it also addresses the students' lack of enthusiasm for in-school writing. It presents the disconnect between the literary discourse often found in a school curriculum and the relevance this literature actually plays in a student's everyday life. Many students in general do not like to write, and it is seen in this article that even Keisha and Troy, who do enjoy writing and do so voluntarily, do not like to write in school. This, in my mind, is the problem. It is great that these two students want to, and can in a creative and proficient way write voluntarily, but I can't help but wonder, how long can and will this voluntary writing actually be enough to be considered "writing for their lives"? At some point, in order to continue in higher education, or often to even get a higher paying job a standard must be met. There is a level of academic discourse that is expected of those heading into higher education. Now obviously students like Keisha and Troy are proficient and creative writers, so is the problem then in the standard set by the institutions in expecting a specific style and way of writing, or is the problem in the students' lack of desire to modify writing essentially to the test?
I know that when I was growing up and learning to write, I, like everyone else, felt that I had my own personal style. I enjoyed writing and considered myself to be good at it. However, when I got to high school I felt that the writing expected of me was so structured and mechanical that there was no longer room for my personality. I knew what was expected of me to get by and have now mastered formulating standard papers, knowing how to write them in just a few hours. I know I will do ok on them, but that they will be nothing special, nothing I am truly proud of. So that to me is the dilemma: how do you let a student have a sense of ownership and creative style in his or her in school writing while still achieving a standard level of writing that academic institutions expect?
For urban African American youth Mahiri and Sablo suggest connecting the literary curriculum to those subjects relevant in the lives of the youth. They also suggest that this can only go so far, and that bringing these subjects so openly into a classroom is difficult. From what I took from the article, the goal is to relate to the students and then hope this lights some sort of writing fire within them. The question is how, and even then, will it really work?
Going back to Keisha and Troy. Their voluntary writing is an example of writing for one's life, but if they cannot find success in their in-school writing then what? And as for the other students who do neither voluntary writing nor in-school writing, is trying to relate to them and encourage them to write in high school simply too late?
I would consider myself an idealistic person, but this blog almost reflects my stream of consciousness in reading this article, and represent the questions that are baffling to me.

I Speak

I, like most people, might speak a variety of languages on any given day. On most days I speak Fran English, the primary discourse I speak with my intimates. It includes words and sayings that I have picked up over the years from close family and friends, along with a generally dry and sarcastic undertone for a majority of the time. Other variations of English may include, but are not limited to: academic English (which I probably use with less regularity), conversational/parent/I just met you English, customer service/please put a tip in my tip jar English, kid English, texting English, and a general "I'm just being obnoxious English", which may include my silly attempt at a British accent, singing my words, or my belief that I am in fact Lil' Wayne. These variations and often destruction of the English language occur nearly everyday, as words seem to come flying out of my mouth, and yet, it defines me. People come to get to know me and understand my sense of humor eventually by way of the languages I speak. I also feel as though I am able to turn off and on a language depending on the situation or environment I am in. Depending on who I am talking to, I can usually switch modes with ease in order to appeal or best relate to the person who I am speaking with.

In addition to English, I also have learned to speak Italian and have studied Spanish in the past. I learned most of my Italian while studying abroad in Italy this past semester, and it is slowly fading away, as it is not really in use back in the States. I never thought I would be proficient at Italian, even while I was studying in Rome, but by the end of the semester I realized that I was suddenly carrying on whole conversations in Italian without really thinking about it. This was a huge accomplishment for me, so it is unfortunate and saddening to me now that I can hardly remember it.

Spanish I studied in high school, and growing up in Los Angeles it has been around me for most of my life. However, switching to Italian in college has created this jumble in my head that makes speaking either language difficult these days. At the local coffee shop that I work at, Spanish is the more dominant language spoken. So now when I try to speak Spanish with my coworkers, a strange and slightly incoherent mix of unsteady Italian and Spanish comes out, discouraging me entirely from using either. However, my Spanish speaking coworkers have been patient with me and are helping me to relearn some basics, which I am grateful for.

All this being said, it is interesting to me how language is used differently on a daily basis, and how it can be a fluid, changing thing. Two months ago, I would have spoken in Italian with enough skill to get by almost everyday. Four years ago, I would have spoken Spanish the same way. Now I am left with some mix of the two and my everchanging variations of the English language. Thus, to say that language is such a large part of one's identity, I can only conclude that one's identity is also one of fluidity, variation, and confusion. Identity, like language, can change from year to year, month to month, even day to day. Therefore, identity is something one chooses and uses. It is the way one expresses his or herself, and it is liable to change.

Autoethnography

I found Pratt's idea of an autoethnographic text to be extremely fascinating. As a student I have taken a few different sociology and anthropology classes where the conversation is consistently about other cultures - how they are different, the same, religious, or scholarly. The discourse of the ethnography is one that is crucial to these studies. Pages and pages are written about other cultures around the world and here in the U.S. Anthropologists struggle to keep an unbiased eye and immerse themselves in the culture in order to best understand and convey the ideas and mores of the studied culture, but in most cases, that anthropologist is simply that, a researcher who may never be able to fully understand the culture or group of people being studied. For that reason, stereotypes emerge, or just unfavorable notions or views towards a group of people. Despite how open minded a scholar might say he or she is, if a a culture is 180 degrees different from their own, it may be difficult to convey these differences in a positive light. What is more, the scholar may be able to describe the culture in a neutral way, but the results may be negative and portray a culture negatively. Even statistics can be miscontrued and used to support an opinion.

For all of these reasons, I think the idea of an autoethnographic text is an insightful way to respond to what is written about one's culture - positive or negative. It is a chance to combat stereotypes, or at the very least explain why a group of people might be the way they are. In a sense it is giving the people who may have been represented in a scholarly discourse, the last word - their own.
I think a very general and popular culture version of the idea of an autoethnographic text the artist Lupe Fiasco's words about where he comes from. His song entitled, "Comin From Where I'm From", describes life growing up in an impoverished American neighborhood. It emphasizes the troubles of poor communities, and how they can often be difficult to overcome. With many pieces written about American "ghettos", I find Lupe's rap to be an important insight and response to such texts and stereotypes.

http://www.actionext.com/names_l/lupe_fiasco_lyrics/comin_from_where_im_from.html

Question 2

I think that my role as a tutor in a school setting helps me to better establish a more mutual relationship in my role as a researcher. Because I am trying to do something that will benefit both the student that I am helping and myself, it allows me to create a win-win relationship while observing from a more research based perspective. In a sense, I try to establish some sort of working relationship with the students in order to create an environment based on mutual trust and respect. Given that I am more of an authority figure in the eyes of the students a balance is difficult to attain, however, I try to even the playing field and become a resource for the student, whether that be helping with homework, playing catch, or just giving them someone to talk to. In addition, I find that a general interest in their daily life beyond a "Hey, how are you doing on that math problem?" can begin to break down the barrier between observed and observer. Essentially, I feel like what is important in this kind of research is to remove the established titles and assumptions, and build an environment based on mutual reciprocity and community.

Thus, I do think that for the most part Cushmann and Moll got it right. I think that they are correct in saying that participant observation is not enough in that it is not enough simply to participate, there must also be some level of give on the part of the researcher. I think that their general sense of understanding and analysis both helped the community members and yielded the best results for the researchers.

Word of the Day: Blog

It was rather difficult for me to choose just one word of the day, as all of the words seemed rather relevant and significant over the past week. However, the word that stuck out to me most would have to be "blog". Blogging is something completely new and foreign to me, and beyond the technical challenges of setting up a blog and then trying to find it again after the fact, it also requires an openness with writing and reflecting that I am not entirely used to. It is, in a way, a new challenge, as is this class and all that it entails. While I have worked with kids in various settings in the past, I cannot really say that I have produced field-notes or a case study about the experience. My role now is different - not only one of mentor/tutor, but also one of researcher, observer, student. Much like this new world of blogging, I am sure my experiences in the weeks ahead will be challenging and exciting. Thus, through blogging and through my time in the classroom, as well as working with kids, I am hoping to gain new insights and skills in the fields of education and literacy.