I Speak

I, like most people, might speak a variety of languages on any given day. On most days I speak Fran English, the primary discourse I speak with my intimates. It includes words and sayings that I have picked up over the years from close family and friends, along with a generally dry and sarcastic undertone for a majority of the time. Other variations of English may include, but are not limited to: academic English (which I probably use with less regularity), conversational/parent/I just met you English, customer service/please put a tip in my tip jar English, kid English, texting English, and a general "I'm just being obnoxious English", which may include my silly attempt at a British accent, singing my words, or my belief that I am in fact Lil' Wayne. These variations and often destruction of the English language occur nearly everyday, as words seem to come flying out of my mouth, and yet, it defines me. People come to get to know me and understand my sense of humor eventually by way of the languages I speak. I also feel as though I am able to turn off and on a language depending on the situation or environment I am in. Depending on who I am talking to, I can usually switch modes with ease in order to appeal or best relate to the person who I am speaking with.

In addition to English, I also have learned to speak Italian and have studied Spanish in the past. I learned most of my Italian while studying abroad in Italy this past semester, and it is slowly fading away, as it is not really in use back in the States. I never thought I would be proficient at Italian, even while I was studying in Rome, but by the end of the semester I realized that I was suddenly carrying on whole conversations in Italian without really thinking about it. This was a huge accomplishment for me, so it is unfortunate and saddening to me now that I can hardly remember it.

Spanish I studied in high school, and growing up in Los Angeles it has been around me for most of my life. However, switching to Italian in college has created this jumble in my head that makes speaking either language difficult these days. At the local coffee shop that I work at, Spanish is the more dominant language spoken. So now when I try to speak Spanish with my coworkers, a strange and slightly incoherent mix of unsteady Italian and Spanish comes out, discouraging me entirely from using either. However, my Spanish speaking coworkers have been patient with me and are helping me to relearn some basics, which I am grateful for.

All this being said, it is interesting to me how language is used differently on a daily basis, and how it can be a fluid, changing thing. Two months ago, I would have spoken in Italian with enough skill to get by almost everyday. Four years ago, I would have spoken Spanish the same way. Now I am left with some mix of the two and my everchanging variations of the English language. Thus, to say that language is such a large part of one's identity, I can only conclude that one's identity is also one of fluidity, variation, and confusion. Identity, like language, can change from year to year, month to month, even day to day. Therefore, identity is something one chooses and uses. It is the way one expresses his or herself, and it is liable to change.